Parenting is joyful, frustrating, rewarding and exhausting. Parenting a child with a chronic disease gives you a double dose of it all; you face challenges most parents never dream of. You juggle doctors, therapists, hospitals, insurance companies, pharmacies and the list goes on. Then there are the emotional and behavioural issues you deal with.  How do you handle a child who forgets to take critical medications or fights medical treatments?  What do you say when a sibling asks, “Will my brother or sister ever get better?”

When I wrote my book, it didn’t matter that it wouldn’t lead to best-seller lists. What mattered was the opportunity to provide crucial and life-changing information for the many families who, like us, struggle with parenting children with serious medical issues. 

Having two beautiful children with a chronic, life-shortening illness has given me a perspective on life that I don’t think I would have otherwise grasped: Life is so precious, and every moment counts. Each new day we get to share with our children is a gift. Since our son, Jacob’s, birth and immediate diagnosis with cystic fibrosis, I have also come to realize that, as a parent, the only thing I really have any control over is to be a great parent. This realization has been anything but easy.

The early days of Jacob’s diagnosis were a blur of disbelief, anger, and grief. Through the pain and tears, I decided it was my job to make him stay healthy. The problem was, I really didn’t know how to do it. Oh, but I thought I did! When things were going okay, I had it handled. It was only when things weren’t going “as planned” that I realized I needed help with my parenting skills. One day, as I “recovered” from another close encounter with two-year-old Jacob about taking his medication (which had resulted in a doozy of a temper tantrum), I reflected on our challenges and felt so hopeless. Jacob’s medications are mandatory – not optional. How was I going to get this strong-willed kid to take them if he really didn’t want to? He was only two and I was already struggling with compliance. And what about the teen years when I wouldn’t always be around to make him take his meds and eat properly? I wanted our time together to spent having fun and loving each other, not fighting over medications and food. The difficulties that lie ahead seemed so huge. Where could I go for answers? Were there any?

Enter Love and Logic. My husband and I took one of their parenting classes and were so excited to learn practical, common-sense skills to avoid power struggles. And they worked with Jacob! Maybe there was some hope after all… We started using Love and Logic with all of the “normal” day-to-day parenting issues as well as Jacob’s medications and special dietary requirements. Things went well for quite a while but as Jacob’s medical needs became more complex, we needed more help. I decided to send a letter to Love and Logic founders Jim Fay and Dr. Foster Cline asking them to adapt the Love and Logic parenting approach to kids with medical conditions. One evening, Dr. Cline called and said he would do it but only with my help. Wow! It was like talking to Santa Claus! Foster was so compassionate and clearly eager and qualified to help our family and other families like us. He even had a recording of a counselling session where he had successfully used Love and Logic years ago with an eleven-year-old with cystic fibrosis who was on death’s door for non-compliance. I knew right away he could help us with our challenges and answer my many questions.

So now, here we are- our book is finally done after much hard work. And we’ve also created a website, audio recordings and teleconferences to help parents continue to develop their skills and connect with each other for support. As I’ve worked with Foster on this book over the last few years, I’ve found it to be an experience filled with both joy and sorrow. It has forced me to look at some personal issues about my own background that I had neatly avoided but needed to face. And although the information we share within these pages may not always be comfortable to read, it is necessary, life-changing and, possibly, life-saving for some of our children. 

I have learned how to implement Love and Logic’s powerful leadership skills at a much deeper level and yet, just like us all, I am still a work in progress. This book will end but our stories won’t. And, Dr. Cline is committed to giving us the training and support we need to successfully navigate around the obstacles we face as we strive to be great parents in very difficult parenting circumstances. 

If it’s possible for me to learn and use these tools, then it’s possible for every one of you, too, even on those tough days when we don’t exactly feel like great parents. The fact that you are reading these words indicates your desire to walk the path of learning, growing, questioning, and changing. That’s what it’s all about.

As we become aware of good, healthy parenting techniques, we toss away those that aren’t, and we take the necessary steps toward showing our love effectively. We are all on this journey together; showing our children a love that is logical and ensuring that all of our logic is laced with love. This will empower us to be great parents to our very special children because every moment matters.    

We are so excited to have Lisa joining us to facilitate our next virtual education session, Putting on Your Life Jacket: Self-care for Caregivers, Parenting a Child with Chronic Disease, and more! Be sure to register at cassieandfriends.ca/yourlifejacket.

Lisa C. Greene, M.A., CFLE

Lisa is a certified parent coach with ACPI, completed Love and Logic’s facilitator training program, and is a Certified Positive Discipline Educator. For formal education, Lisa has a Bachelor’s degree in Business from Central Washington University and completed her Master’s degree in Family Life Education at Concordia University in December 2013.  She also completed the 1,600-hour work requirement for certification as a family life educator through National Council of Family Relations. 

In addition to helping parents raise healthy, happy families, she is the author of four books, an international public speaker, certified family life educator, and parent coach. As a speaker and writer, Lisa touches the lives of hundreds of families each year with her teachings and message of hope.